Dear Santa…

I’ve been relatively good this year. I mean, good in the sense that I didn’t kill anyone or pillage any small, unsuspecting towns. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t have my fair share of black-out drunk nights, but that’s all in good fun. I’m sure you’ve been there too, right Santa? Your sneaky Santa! Gettin’ a little too jolly with the eggnog.

Anyway, based on my near-impeccable behavior, I’ve decided that I deserve everything on my Christmas list this year. Extravagance is nothing when it comes to Christmas, amirite?

First, I need a container for my wine.

Now, Santa. You know I love my wine. And isn’t it such a hassle to keep getting up and refilling those puny tiny glasses. But here, we have a wine glass that holds an entire BOTTLE of wine. It’s perfection. It’s everything that I want in the world…nay, it’s everything that I NEED. Don’t worry Santa, I’ll share with you. We can have a wine night and gossip whose been naughty and nice this year, while watching some bad Christmas movies on Lifetime.

Oh, and if you could bring one of these wine glasses to my bestie, Kayla, that’d be awesome. She’s the one who introduced me to them, and I know she’d LOVE to join in our wine nights!

Next, I’m going to need this swimming pool.

Look, Santa. I get it. I don’t own a house, so technically I have nowhere to PUT this pool. But we can figure something out. Maybe you can buy me a nice house with a backyard, just so I can have this pool. I mean, Santa. Did you even WATCH this video? This is the future of water-based leisure. If you can make this happen for me, you WILL be invited over for some pool parties in the summer (we all know that you’re just relaxing and vacationing all summer anyway). Make sure you bring your giant wine glass.

Next on the list, we have this bad boy:

His name is Zompo. and he was created by Art by KC. He is a zombie hippo. And if you know me, you know my obsession with zombies. I love zombies. I have an entire folder on my iPhone dedicated to zombie-based iPhone games. I was a zombie for halloween (and saved my zombie clothes so I can dress up as a zombie any other day of the year, when I feel so compelled!). I’m currently reading a zombie memoir. If I could have this adorable zombie hippo, I think my life would be complete.

Lastly, I want a puppy.

Isn’t he ADORABLE. We would play fetch with tiny sticks and cuddle and be best friends forever. I love puppies and I just want one of my own. I don’t think this requires much more explanation…I mean just look at that sweet face. He just wants to be loved! But, if you need more inspiration, go to Daily Puppy, but be careful. You might get sucked in to the adorable-ness of all the puppies and might forget all about Christmas…and then I’ll never receive any of my Christmas gifts!

That’s all I want! Maybe some world peace, elimination of hunger, equal rights for everyone, and for Scott Walker to be recalled, if you have the time.
I’ll see you in  5 days! And have a Merry Christmas!


Edit: My two favorite people in the world, Mike & Kayla, made this super awesome “Dear Santa” post on their blog. Kayla is the one who pointed me in the direction of this awesome wine glass, via said blog post. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. I say that it’s call “Emily takes an inspiration from a post and does it better.” :) Love you, bitches.


~ by etau on December 20, 2011.

2 Responses to “Dear Santa…”

  1. Yours is definitely not better simply because it doesn’t include an awesome tiger costume/blanket. =P

    Wubbles, bitch.


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