Pet Peeves OR My Friends are Assholes

Anyone who knows me knows that I have pet peeves that are nerdy and very specific. Unfortunately, I have a friend who knows these pet peeves ALL TOO WELL. And takes advantage of this power. You want to know why I don’t let people get close to me? IT’S BECAUSE THEY ABUSE THEIR POWER.

NR:  Does it bother you you’re the only azn alive who’s bad at math ;D
me:  I am GREAT at math.
NR:  Uh huh
me:  I took AP Calc in high school!
NR:  And in college? Where education actually means something?
me:  I, uh, took a stats class. AND GOT AN A IN IT…
NR:  I rest my case
me:  I GOT AN A! and I COULD have taken math classes and I would have done AMAZINGLY, fuckface.
NR:  I mean, you can’t be any worse at math than you are at English…
me:  GASP! This conversation is OVER.
NR:  [set down phone, go to class laughing maniacally]
me:  OVER!!!!!!
NR:  P.S. Times New Roman is the best font for all occasions.
me:  Why do you want to hurt me?
NR:  Also Papryus and comic sans are good for “creative” documents
NR:  Really you don’t need any other fonts anyway. Photoshop and MS paint are basically the same
me:  I’m mentally making a list of the most brutal ways I can kill you.
NR:  Do you think about that alot?
me: …and I know you did that on purpose…and I DO think about that alot. He’s my favorite alot.
NR:  I do did not do that on porpoise
me:  I’ve grown weary of your childish games.
NR:  Moar lies
me: Now you’re just running out of material.

So what have we learned? I am phenomenal at mastering the English language. Times New Roman can suck one, unless you are writing an academic paper. Papyrus and Comic Sans need to go to the place where fonts go to DIE. Don’t you dare insult any Adobe products (except Flash. Fuck Flash…). And “a lot” is two words (and yes, I do send everyone that link if they ever say “alot”).


~ by etau on December 19, 2011.

One Response to “Pet Peeves OR My Friends are Assholes”

  1. Ahahahahaha! I simultaneously laughed and cringed at this entire post. Wubbles!

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