Bikram Yoga OR I Never Knew I Could Sweat So Much

Yesterday I tried Bikram Yoga for the first time. I drank plenty of water during the day leading up to my 4:30pm class. I tried to stay positive about it. Yes, this will be hard. Yes, it will be hot. But I can do hard things. This is good for me. Detoxifying and cleansing. It’s only the first day. I can DO THIS.

I had NO idea what I was getting myself into.

For those who don’t know, Bikram Yoga is a 90-minute yoga class that goes through 26 poses and 2 breathing exercises in a room that is heated to 105 degrees with 40% humidity.

There are really no words to describe the heat and humidity. I don’t think I could ever be hydrated enough to not get dehydrated in that room. The instructor said that for your first couple of classes just being able to stay in the room for the full 90 minutes was an accomplishment. She wasn’t kidding. These were my thoughts throughout the class: (Times are approximate because they don’t have a clock…)

4:20pm: Okay, Danielle. Let’s go into the room 10 minutes early to lay down and get used to the room.
4:25pm: This isn’t too bad. It’s warm, but I can handle this!
4:30pm: “Raise your hand if you’re one of our 6 new students today!” Crap. *Raises hand*
4:45pm: This isn’t so bad. Breathe in through your nose. Out through your mouth. Relaxing!
4:50pm:  Wait, you want me to bend my body HOW? Maybe I should have taken a regular yoga class first. How is that guy doing that? I am NOT a pretzel.
5:00pm: I thought I was wearing a light pink tank top today…huh. It’s 100% a different color now. I never knew I could sweat so much!
5:10pm: People are dripping. I can literally see sweat FALLING off of people. This is so gross.
5:15pm: Oh good, we get to lay on the floor now. Phew.
5:20pm: Sit-ups? We have to sit up RAPIDLY? Dear God I’m going to pass out.
5:22pm: Yeah, I think I’m just going to lay here….
5:30pm: I can’t breathe. I’m going to suffocate. My body is tingly. I can feel my heartbeat in every inch of my body. Why is everything spinning? Is this what death feels like?
5:35pm: Look at the nice breeze outside in the trees. DAMN YOU TREES. I want to be a tree. Outside of this room. HOW MUCH TIME COULD BE LEFT?
5:45pm: Maybe I’ll try another pose. *Sits up and is immediately dizzy* Yep, that’s not going to happen. *Lays back down*
5:55pm: Ah, the last set of breathing exercises. I can do these.
6:00pm: “Feel free to stay in the room and enjoy your savasana. Namaste” Fuck that. Get me the hell out of this room!


Maybe someday I’ll try it again. Maybe I’ll do a regular-temperature yoga class first.


~ by etau on September 21, 2011.

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